This is something that has been driving me crazy and I just can’t hold my tongue any longer. When I tell people I just got married, two out of three will say something congratulatory and the conversation will continue. But the one always launches into how even though nothing has changed yet it will soon, and how their 28 marriages all started out ok too, and how horrible divorce is, blah, blah, blah. SERIOUSLY?!? I mean I realize that not everyone takes their vows to heart. I also realize that very many marriages end in divorce. But can’t you keep your big mouth shut? Just say, “Congratulations” and move on!!
Now, I admit that perhaps the one in three estimation may be a bit of an exaggeration. But even if it’s one out of five or ten, it still happens far too often. First off, sorry if you’re not happy but I am. I’ve been happy for the past three and a half years and even happier for the last year. I understand that marriage takes work and not every moment will be wonderful, but happy is happy. Secondly, advice is fine, but why does it have to be so negative? If you’re divorced and really want to tell me why it happened go ahead, but is it really hard to say it in such a way that sounds encouraging? Like, “Whatever you do, make sure you communicate. It’ll really help you out in the long run.” Awesome! Thank you! Blake and I communicate just fine, but good to know we should keep doing that.
And while I’m discussing divorce, I understand that it can’t always be avoided and is sometimes very much justified. That being said, I really don’t think that people today take marriage seriously enough. They marry quickly without much thought of the real implications of marriage and then often aren’t willing to put in the time to make the marriage work. Then when things get a little too difficult they decide that it isn’t worth the effort and take the easy way out by getting a divorce.
I think the thing that frustrates me the most about all of this business is that some people who are committed to each other, have been for years, and will be until they die, can’t get married. Apparently a happy, stable, and committed relationship just isn’t enough of a justification to allow anyone who wants to marry to do so. I know that rant was a bit off topic, but I think it all ties in to the idea of how society today views marriage.
All of that being said, Blake and I are glad to be married. As of yet, not a whole lot has changed for us in our everyday life and honestly it probably won’t until we have children. Since that will be a few years off still, I think we’re good.
So if all you want to do is talk about how it won’t work, keep it to yourself. But if you have any helpful positive advice, bring iton!!
